Starting Party: Lu Bu, Guan Ping, Liu Feng, Zhang Fei, Guan Yu, Huo Hu
Closing in on Dong Zhuo, we can smell his fear (and his BO).
Pushing a full frontal assault, we charge through inept defenders Dong Min and Fen Chou. At Chang An, Dong Zhuo is full of bluster, but merely backed up by Jia Xu and Zhang Ji. One brutal decapitation later, his rebellion is quelled.
Well, it's been a long, hard road, but we've finally accomplished all we've set out to do. The Yellow Scarves and Dong Zhuo are but memories now. There is great celebration in Chang An with drink and women.
Soon though, Cao Cao sends a messenger telling us that the food-hoarder Yuan Shu has gotten his ham hands on the Imperial Seal and declared himself emperor. Insane with indignation, Liu Bei commands us to annihilate him and his followers. Unfortunately, nobody ever thought to build a bridge to the north of Chang An. Also, we fired Han Zhong a while back, and nobody else knows how to make one! So, we'll have to go the long way around the mountains.
Moving towards Yuan castle, we stop at a tavern along the way. Inside some random guy named Zhao Yun offers to join us. But when we accept, he says "Cyke!" and explains that he really works for another guy. We'll have to keep an eye on this trouble-maker, and possibly kill him in the future.
Leaving stone-cold sober because we couldn't even talk to the barkeep over the gigantic counter, we angrily beat down Yuan castle's drawbridge. Inside, Lei Bo and Chen Ji are shaking and offer no resistance, becoming our latest victims. Unfortunately, there is not a bloody thing interesting going on here since Yuan Shu took away all of the young girls. Now, we have a real reason to take him out! Not wasting any more time, we move out to Huai Nan.
There we're met by the surprisingly competent generals Ji Ling and Zhang Xun. However, the two of them are no match for our superior water tactics (we throw fish), and we crush them.
Being close to Shui Jing's house, we decide to pop over. We can see him just standing there not doing anything, but his little squirt of a brother tells us he is very busy and he can't meet anyone.
Moving north, we kill a couple of turkeys at the fort with nary a scratch. Inside, Xu Yuan Zhi gives us a letter of introduction to Shui Jing. Acting nonchalantly, we go back and name drop. This time the punk moves aside. Darn! We wanted an excuse to kill him. Anyway, Shui Jing tells us about two guys named Fu Long and Feng Chu, who are supposed to be superior tacticians. We are eager to meet them since we're getting sick of Huo Hu's addiction to powder.
Done here, we begin the seige of Nan Yang. The unimpressive Liang Ji falls first. Then Chen Lan and Liang Gang roll over for us like the French for the Germans 1700 years later. Finally making our way to Nan Yang, Yuan Shu himself personally leads the counterattack. Maybe if he had better guys than Yuan Yin and Lu Fan helping him, he might have won.
Peace reigns! Until we get our hands on the "freed" women, that is. We also encounter a guy selling a silver key for a ludicrous 4000 gold. However, when he wasn't looking, Guan Yu lifted it from him. Nobody rips us off!
Next, we hear a rumor that Yuan Shu's brother, Yuan Shao, is amassing an army in Bo Hai to exact revenge on us. We determine that the best course of action would be to launch a pre-emptive strike against Bo Hai and catch Yuan Shao off-guard. With Lu Bu on our side, we're unbeatable!
Except as soon as we step foot on the north bridge, we're ambushed by 6000 of Yuan Shao's troops. Then Lu Bu casually says, "I will serve Yuan Shao." Shit shit, treachery! We take one round of losses and Yuan Shao, his voice dripping with disdain, tells us to get lost.
Zhang Xun and Ji Ling may only have intelligences of 28 and 47, but they're smart enough to know when to haul ass.
Back at Nan Yang, Liu Bei says he'll fire the lot of us unless we take Yuan Shao down. We don't especially feel like working for that wimp Liu Zhang so we acquiesce to his wishes. Making sure to check under the north bridge this time, we head off to Bo Hai.